Conflict Resolution

Life is hard enough. To be with someone who brings you down, who criticizes your choices, who limits your dreams, can be very debilitating.

This communication style may seem normal, common, or how it’s supposed to be. Maybe this is the relationship that was modeled for you when you were young. To truly accept, support, and encourage a partner, we have to...

Communicate. Communicate. Communicate.

...in a healthy way

A great life skill to help change the way you let others treat you is learning about conflict resolution. Learning how to communicate needs effectively not only deepens relationships, but it helps prevent harm to ourselves and each other. 

The people we surround ourselves with should lift us up fully and unconditionally.

Take the time to learn about yourself and the relationships that were modeled for you. What do you admire in that relationship? From that relationship, what unhealthy patterns and traits do you recognize in yourself? What skills can you learn to shift your negative patterns? 

How did that relationship impact your communication style? 

• Do you or your partner yell at each other to get your point across? 
• Do you try to understand the underlying need that's not being filled? 
• Do you really listen to what the other person is saying? Or, do you just want to be heard?
• Do you 'fly off the handle', or do you take a 'time out' to understand the situation better? 
• Do you try to use words that help the other person understand? 
• What other conversation is happening in your mind? Are you expecting the other person to know what you need without telling them? 
• Are you in tune with your body language and facial expressions? 
• Do you express yourself with confidence and kindness?
• Are you 'digging in your heals' or are you open to learn something new?
• Two people can't talk and be heard at the same time. Do you find you are interrupting each other? 

We beat ourselves up enough, we don’t need our partners to do it as well. If you find that your current relationship does not make you feel accepted, supported, or encouraged it may be time to up your 'conflict resolution game' with each other.